Are we THERE yet!

It is Saturday, January 7, 2010 and the children have been out of school for 15 and a half days! Yes, I AM counting. Weather permitting they will return to school on January 11, 2010... Looks like a storm may hit on Monday though in which case we are talking January 12th. Let's hope we all survive that long!

I love them, but it is time to get some structure back in their lives. I love our bus driver, she is wonderful, however, she has not come to my aid as per my directive. I don't know why she did not arrive when I messaged her "Hi MaryEllen! Sorry break is over, please start the bus and come get my kids! Thanks!" I do believe I shall be writing a letter in despair to the school board over this.

I remember when my babies were little and I worked full time, I couldn't understand why my co-workers were relieved when their kids went back to school at the end of the summer. Of course things were different then, my girls were babies, I was infallible to them and with working had little enough time to enjoy them. Now they are older and things are so different! I apologize to you mom's out there that I thought were selfish or heartless for wanting your kids back in school. I get it now!

Daughter #1 - is in her teens, we have a love/hate relationship, depending on what minute of what day; and why can't I just let her have a life and leave her alone? Daughter #2 - is 9 and sees me as a play mate. I apparently NEVER play with her, give her any attention and why did I have kids anyway? (NOTE: #1 and #2 is not preference it is birth order. As I tell my girls, I love them BOTH the best, just don't tell the other one, ok?)

Christmas was looking bleak this year, however, thanks to Jessica and her letter's Santa did find our house. He brought them both lovely things - fashion related for daughter #1 and fun activity related for daughter #2. Of course the excitement of these items lasted for about 3 days after which if I did not play with her she could not use them. Hmmm? Mom? Did I do this? I couldn't possibly have been like this... could I?

Well, Rachel got some hopping cute clothes and money from family so we did take a trip to Fredericton to shop. Of course the day we planned to go the roads were covered in snow and I was advised by a professional driver to stay home.  Advice that I heeded. This of course in teen lingo equals "You don't want me to have a life!" OK, did I miss something here? The whole point of us staying home in bad weather was to KEEP your life? Love hormones! Fun! (Again, I apologize mom for the years between 13 and 21 before I realized you were NOT actually stupid and hating me.)

It has been fun to have the snow. Jessica has loved it. She has generally played out side for about two hours at a time when sliding, building forts and making snow angels. I still do NOT have a snowman but I hear that he hopped off with some bear and they are making snow babies in a cave somewhere. We have made gingerbread houses from scratch, baked cookies, homemade bread, huge elaborate meals, gifted neighbours, had a few dinner "parties", played in the snow, watched movies, long phone calls out West to our loved ones, Rachel has been on sleepovers, parties and gone snow boarding for the first time...OH! and remember, I have not done ANYTHING with my kids OK?

I need to complete a business plan and get some income happening for this family. Of course, my being on the computer means I am "playing" not working. I am pleased with my foresight since there is quite a bit of meat in the freezer, potatoes in the cellar and canning on the shelves. Yes, there is "no food in this house" from a child's perspective but I do see food and apparently it sees me which my waistline can attest too! Of course being a mom the term should be "wasteline" since we need to make sure nothing goes to waste.

I shall finish my rambling now as I get ready to kick my teen out of bed (it is 11am), my starving younger one has been fed "pancakes and bacon" and I begin to really work again for the day. I ask the universe, clouds and sky gods to please be good, these children NEED to go to school Tuesday! Um... bus driver? Hello???? Don't be a wimp, drive! 

In conclusion, Mom, I love you! I am sorry when I sound impatient, uninterested, etc. You have been there for  me when I needed you most. I love you and hope you are around for many years to come. I have added a little Facebook post many of you may have seen and I think it says it all...   By the way, TUESDAY kids are GOING to school!

3yr old: "Mommy, I love you."     - 10 yr old: "Mom, whatever!"    - 16 yr old: "My Mom is so annoying!"    - 18 yr old: "I wanna leave this house!"   - 25 yr old: "Mom, you were right."    - 30 yr old: "I wanna go back to my Mom's house."    - 50 yr old: "I don't wanna lose my Mom."   - 70 yr old: "I would give up EVERYTHING for my Mom to be here with me."      You only have 1 Mom...

Oh and Happy Parenting Everyone! 

 

The Story of a New Brunswick Transplant

This blog would not be complete if I did not express how much I love New Brunswick. No matter what has gone wrong, which is almost everything, I still know I came to the right place. I believe I will spend my life here, so let me tell you how things have gone since we arrived.

We arrived in Woodstock, New Brunswick and stayed for the night. This was a challenge since it was the one night I think every hotel was busy. We liked the Best Western (best complimentary breakfast in any hotel in Canada!) but they did not have room for us. We ended up in a bit of a divy motel which shall remain nameless. We did NOT eat there since we had been there before for dinner and it was the worst food in Canada! Nevertheless, we had to stay over night since it was after 5pm and all stores in New Brunswick close at 5pm. (They have VERY different laws about stores opening and closing here.) 

We arranged to have the realtor meet us for coffee in the morning to bring us the keys to the house. Our home is about 50 minutes from town, but we took a slower way and it was over an hour with our truck and trailer on the country roads. We were also informed that the retailer who was to have delivered our appliances; fridge, stove, washer and dryer as well as beds for the kids, had not done so. Both the realtor and I called and insisted it be done that day. (They FINALLY arrived at 8:30pm that night!)

The water was not hooked up at the house since no one had lived there for several years. The realtor had the owner meet us at the house in the afternoon to help hook up the water pump. Len and the previous owner spent about two hours in the cellar and at the well trying to get the pump going but it was dead. So, at 5pm, we had a little BBQ outside and pulled water up from the well in a galvanized bucket. I had paper plates and cups and food in the cooler (waiting for our appliances.)

The girls went through the house and were happy with how big it was. They understood the layout and size better than through the photos and our descriptions and determined that yes, it was a good house. Gee thanks! They did see that it probably need a few more renovations than we originally thought. Most of these were cosmetic so I just shrugged them off. We each chose a room downstairs to call our bedroom area. We had to camp out in the family room, living room and den until the bedrooms were ready. The bedrooms should be ready by the time school started in September.  (In retrospect, we arrived July 21, 2010, it is now January 5, 2011 and we are still months away from having bedrooms.)

 We went to bed that night tired, no water running, (which means no bathroom) and were stunned at the complete black in the sky, brilliant starlight coming through the windows and the big dragonflies at night. It was a little scary (talking pee again!) when we had to go out at night to pee because we knew the area was teeming with bears, moose and other wildlife. The girls and I went in groups for the first few nights. I also found out the next night that the dragonflies were not flying at night but the BATS were! ICK! My whole life I had thought bats would fly into my head and tangle into my hear and get stuck as they struggled to escape. TERRIFIED! Except, did you know this isn't true? Bats are good things! They eat the bugs and mosquitoes and apparently the droppings are good for gardens... I don't really care for them living under my roof though, between the old roof and new roof!

The next morning, day two on the homestead, we had visitors one after the other. Men kept coming to help Len with the water system. This was a very crucial part of our living and had to be resolved quickly. Unlike in the city where we are all so busy, have to run to do something and work, etc. people out here, if they are home are not in a rush. Life is more laid back, loving that! So when the men came to help they stayed for hours to help. Some offered to go to the hardware store for parts (the closest is a half hour away) and they kept bringing in more guys to help get us up and running. We were amazed! We had cold beer on hand to share but even then, they only had one to cool down and moved on. Wonderful people!

Len and I went through lots of beer as part of keeping cool while we worked. We had flats and flats of bottled water until we could get our well pump going which was about 5 days. It was another week after that before we had any hot water, so I did a lot of boiling water on the stove. Before we arrived a neighbour had mowed our lawn aka field but it had grown again so another neighbour did it for us. We were ecstatic to learn that Sandy Beach was public access right down the road from us. We took all of our biodegradable hair products and headed for a bath! Apparently there was a fellow who was big, bald, tattooed, intimidating and who owned a pit bull so no one went there. Hey, we're from BC, everyone looks like that! We headed right in and felt like we had our own piece of the lake all summer! Jessica learned to swim and we bathed regularly!

I found out that up the street at the community centre about a mile away, there was a "Fun Park" for kids age 4-12 from 9am to noon each day. This was a god send! Jessica was quickly wanting activity, someone to play with and to be entertained. It took a few days to get her comfortable with the group but she grew to love it. She was able to spend the rest of the summer at Fun Park which was a drop in group. She met almost everyone who would be on her bus, made friends and met the school bus driver. All of this helped her transition much better into school. Rachel had met a few people on Facebook prior to our move and was getting to know the kids better too. She discovered she loved four wheeling, aka quadding. She thinks we should buy one which would be tons of fun but not a priority ... yet! She was also happy on day three when I set up the internet so she could communicate with the "real world".

Len and I were working, day and night. Getting things working. Rachel helped me with cleaning, unpacking the kitchen and both girls helped a bit with stacking wood. There was a lot of wood! We ordered 9 cords of wood split and had to stack it all. We hope to get more of our own wood this year off the property for our heat and keep expenses down next year. We do have 50 acres, but don't want to cut many living trees. We will thin out some areas and pick up dead fall and work with that to start. 

 A wonderful couple up the street brought us a table and chairs set and vacuum to use until we got furniture. Another woman gave us an overstuffed chair which sits in the kitchen, next to the fridge, in front of the fire. The girls fight over who gets the "comfy" chair! (It is January and due to more breakdowns and vehicle repairs - we still have no furniture. It too shall come!) We have had many offers to give us a couch, TV and more... I however, am holding out until I have bedrooms, move the beds out of my living room, buy a NEW couch and NEW flat screen TV! Two dreams ... it will happen! Eventually...

So many people have welcomed us. Helped us, offered support, kindness and friendship. I must say the Maritimes hosts amazingly kind people ... I was told this and it is true! Of course life keeps setting us back, the diesel truck got water in it from a bad gas station, which by the time all was said and done was six weeks of anxiety and $2,000 in repairs. My EI which was to run for another six weeks, we thought, based on the reporting system and information was cut off a week before Christmas without any notice... 

The rooms and house are a nightmare to repair, being 100 years or so old, it is not a straight building, the studs are hard to find in the walls and every time we get going we have to stop. I have taken on a part time cleaning/baking job a half hour away, not my plan but helps buy food! I have had to throw out the open a store/coffee shop due to inane rules that would put us out of business before we started. I am now working on a website development company and hope to get my proposal in for approved funding in the next week or so. Wish me luck!

I have learned (again) how to preserve and can food; dry plants to make tea; make home made pure apple juice; I am planning my garden; getting my organic chickens; working towards living differently day by day. This has been an adjustment, particularly for a mall rat teenager... Jessica was in her first parade at North Lake Field Days which was very exciting! AND! Jessica has learned to ride a bike, compliments of a gift from the neighbour.

Still I am very grateful for what we have, what we are developing and even though it is all taking longer than planned and we might not fully build the farm we wanted, we are here, alive, together. I love my friends and family in the West! I am building new friendships in the East. My children are safe, well and have all they need. (Yes they do disagree about this from time to time, but expectations are slowly changing and we are all settling in!)

 

Ontario: 250,000 bodies of water, 2400 km, 1 week of travel and 1 transport truck vs. 1 pickup truck!

Until we planned our journey and began to set the itinerary for travel, I had no idea that Ontario was such a large province. With us traveling about 6 hours per day and pulling the trailer we expected it to take about 5 days to drive across. We were going a bit out of our way to stop in Toronto to see new baby Ethan and we were eager to meet him.

As mentioned earlier we were happy to wave g'bye! to Manitoba. Now to my friends who live in the province of wheat I know it is not a bad place, on the contrary the people were awesome, but we were two weeks into our trip and had not even reached Ontario. We were thrilled to reach Kenora and kept on moving. 

It was Saturday, July 10th and we left Nanaimo on Monday, June 28th. We just wanted to hit TO and go forward with our lives. We had canceled all of our other tourist plans and promised to the kids that we would go to Niagra Falls and of course downtown Toronto. Len and I were still chipper, well I was, I will admit he was getting a bit discouraged at this point. I don't know if any of us really believed the trouble was over but seriously, what else could possibly happen? So far we had broken down or needed a repair in every province, Ontario means good luck doesn't it?

It was a warm afternoon, I drove with the windows open for air. The air conditioning worked but we were nervous to push the truck too hard and didn't want to cause any overheating. I guess when I was in grade school I remember more about studying Mesopotamia than I do about Canadian geography. I know where the provinces are but did not know Ontario had 250,000 bodies of water or that if you drove straight it would take 24 hours to cross it. Ontario also has about a kazillion truckers on the road at any given time. They race up behind you, pass on a double line and create pressure for the driver as you try to travel. All day long I was pulling to the side or slowing down to let them pass me. They were very intimidating and for the first time on our trip I was getting annoyed with them.

I decided to take a break and nap before we moved on to the next town. We drove by a few pullouts that were on the lake side and I thought we should turn around and get some air at one. The kids could swim, I could rest, stretch and get some air. The girls and I had seen a good rest area but Len thought we should just stay where we were. Len was out voted. We decided to go back to the rest area. I had driven past the pullout on route 17 and looked each direction then turned my big rig around. I was driving pretty slowly about 30km per hour since I was watching for the turn and there was no one behind me. About 500m before my left turn I put my left signal light on. I looked in both mirrors and checked behind me. Nothing. Nada. Zip. It was clear and safe to turn.

I turned the steering wheel and rolled it left as my truck, then trailer followed me. Just as my cab hit the entrance of the road I felt a big SLAM! on my drivers side as my head rolled forward then back. I yelled "It wasn't me! I didn't do it! I was safe! I looked, signaled and had my brake light ON!" Len yelled "I told you the other place was fine!" Jessica screamed and Rachel said nothing. I asked everyone in my family if they were OK and it seemed we all were. I then looked out my window and saw a big orange and black transport truck with two men yelling at me. 

The rig had ended up in the ditch on quite a slant. My ass end was still hanging out on the highway so I gently pulled forward off the road more and tucked all my pieces in as tight as I could to prevent any further traffic trouble. I hopped out of my truck and saw two women standing in front of the vehicle. A minute ago the highway was empty. Now, the semi and us were on the left side of the road and two other semi's of the same make and a car with some women were on the right side. 

The women were sisters and their first words were to say they would be witnesses and had seen me slow down and have my signal light on. They said the semi had been speeding up and down behind me. It was surreal since none of us had seen anyone. I went to the passenger door of the transport and asked if they were OK. The two men would not answer me. I yelled again "Are you OK? Is anyone hurt?" The next thing I knew the men were yelling again. I have to admit with the accent, speed and loud voice I had no clue what he was saying. I asked them to roll down the window and they finally did. They would not answer if they were OK, but they appeared to be unharmed. I said "I am sorry, I can't understand a word you are saying, I will be back." I then went to my family and the witnesses.

Another car drove by and said they had seen us all there and had called 911 and police, fire and ambulance were on the way. The sisters were on their way to see their dying brother. They did not have a lot of time, so I had them write out their statement including name, address and phone numbers. The fire truck arrived and the nicest volunteers hopped out to help. It seems during the whole hullabaloo the other two semi drivers claimed to have seen the whole thing and we were at fault. I was very grateful for the two women who recorded their statements because the other witnesses were false and did not give true information as they were connected with the driver who hit us. 

The paramedics arrived and checked us over. We were fine so we let it go and the other driver did not claim an injury. I mentioned that my neck had jolted and I already felt sore muscles but they said this was normal. The police officer arrived and much to his chagrin he had to take a full report. The officer was an hour from ending his shift to begin 4 days off so not really a very happy camper! Poor him!

While I wrote down a four page statement including time of day, direction we were headed and road conditions for the officer, the local fire department volunteers took off our ruined tire and rim and replaced it with our spare. They also helped pull off the broken piece of the front grill and do anything else they could to help us. Like me, the fire department was tired of the long haul truckers rushing along the highway, exceeding speed limits, not slowing down and being a hazard on the road. The fire department chief said there had been an accident the same time of day, the day before we were hit. (Later we found out that another accident in the same location happened the next day, Sunday. Sadly, this involved a motorcycle and transport truck and a fatality. We were So lucky!)

The other drivers were in collusion and backing each other up. I was informed by one of the follow up drivers that they made the trip regularly from New Brunswick to Vancouver in 54 hours. They had two drivers and only stopped to fuel up. (The locals informed us that the drivers had holes in the floor to relieve themselves and also kept a 5 gallon bucket for this purpose. So if you stop at a rest stop and see  a 5 gallon bucket sitting there... leave it alone!)

This put us behind about 2.5 hours that day. The officer determined the following: I was NOT at fault. The other driver was guilty of several violations, however, since neither of us were from the province of Ontario he cited the violation as "Following too close" to prevent us from having to return and go through the court system. It was kind of funny because we had left Vancouver, the truck driver was headed there, we were headed to New Brunswick, the truck drivers rig was from New Brunswick and the truck driver lived in Quebec. Kind of an inter provincial accident!   

We were exactly between Rossport and Schreiber, Ontario. It was now almost 7 pm. We were tired, hungry and I was a bit sore. We limped in with the truck to Schreiber and Len booked us into a motel for a couple of days. It was very considerate of him since we were all tired from the journey to date and I was sore and had to deal with insurance companies. This also gave us an opportunity to do some laundry before we headed on to Toronto.

I could not believe how exhausted I was the next day. I slept in, chatted with Len and Jessica for a bit, drifted back to sleep and woke up a couple of hours later. I guess it was harder on me than I thought! Jessica and I went for a walk later that day and flinched every time a rig went by. It was so scary! I was not sure how I was going to continue to drive or even if I could but I kept that thought to myself since there were not many options.

We left Schreiber mid Monday morning after talking with ICBC. We wanted to head on to Alton, Ontario and hour from Toronto, but that was still about 3 days away. We were all pretty quiet for the first three hours of driving. I was nervous. My heart was palpitating, my breath was shallow, my skin was clammy and I was having an anxiety attack. Everyone was in the truck and I doubt anyone felt great. We were worried about the truck. The transport trucks were back and tail gating again. I was starting to feel dizzy and wanted to cry.  I considered saying NO! I can't do it! Figure something else out. James (our son in law) can come drive or someone else. I AM TOO SCARED! How was I expected to keep going along these winding narrow highways with these truckers??? 


I pulled over and told everyone I needed a break. I told them all to go away. Walk in the bush, find a creek, talk to a bear, I don't care! I had to be alone. I got some fresh air, then curled up in my driver's seat. I slept, deep sleep. When they all came back, I got out stretched, peed (we were getting to be very talented at peeing beside the road!) and told everyone I was ready to go. 

I guess my little breakdown was over. I began to get my confidence back and I knew I could do it. I am WOMAN! Hear me ROAR! No dumb ass poorly trained hazardous trucker was going to stop me! I am going to Toronto and then on to New Brunswick. I am not letting my family down. It was bad enough that we never had any touristy fun but I was getting them all safely and securely and ALIVE to New Brunswick. 

Now, here I am! In New Brunswick! That is as much as I shall blog about our trip!

Now a QUICK question!

I have finished the journey and that is what this blog was about.

Do you think I should continue to write as I have been doing?

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Have a great day and if you see any orange and black transport trucks...!

New Years, Robbie Burns, Guy Lombardo & Dick Clark!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 
and never brought to mind?  
Should auld acquaintance be forgot  
and days of auld lang syne? 

 Listen to Auld Lang Syne

Thank you Robbie Burns for taking an old Scottish song in 1788,   researching the lyrics, history and documenting for the first time on paper "Auld Lang Syne". Thank you Canadian, Guy Lombardo, for taking the song in 1929 and declaring it the annual New Year's Eve tradition to play upon the stroke of midnight. What a great song! It is the quintessential tune for celebrating the old and welcoming the new! Thank you Dick Clark for making it a part of every Rockin' New Years Eve! 

Who doesn't acquaint this song with the New Year?

This year has seen us leave much of the old which will never be forgotten. Of course it will fade and the next time (if) we see our friends again things will have changed. Our friendships remain in a holding pattern and yet we both have moved on with our lives... though the friendship remains.  Should it be forgotten? I don't think so. We may never regain what we had, however will always value how we touched each others lives. Everything we have gone through makes us the people we are today, for better or for worse. Friends change, family is here forever. To my family and loved ones, I miss you and I am glad you are all just a phone call away.

2010 was a year when my job ended, my hopes of ever owning a home in BC demolished, our family welcomed new babies, I traveled to the Atlantic for the first time, I uprooted my loved ones and transported them across the country to our new home, I finally owned a home, and amidst it all the disappointments, the apprehension and the excitement, I knew that my family was all that really mattered. 

For auld lang syne, my dear,  
For auld lang syne,  
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet  
For auld lang syne

As they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Some days I made hard lemonade to get through! Other days were so sweet it didn't need any extra sugar. No matter what   we were drinking that day, we were still alive and well to enjoy it. Of course there were times that we threw our hands up and yelled "WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE DONE?" and then we laughed because there was no turning back.

I believe I would take the last year and do it again, however a little differently. As we all know hindsight is 20/20 and we think we would not make the same mistakes and would learn and change. In the last year my high school reunion was over due  one year for the 25th reunion. Having never been to a reunion, knowing that I was moving and this would likely be my last chance, I jumped on board to get things rolling. I was dismayed and let down to be unable to attend, I knew the timing might be off and it was. I was grateful to get to be a part of the committee, reunite with some long lost friends and find some new friends as a result of Facebook among some of our research techniques. Thank you to those Grads that have offered me friendship and encouragement. I wish you all many years of health, family and doing what you love.

Facebook is a great way to connect with people. I don't play games on it, rarely chat, nevertheless I enjoy seeing how people are, feeling connected through cyberspace, watching us all grow old together, seeing our children grow and remaining in touch. Thank you Facebook friends, family and everyone else out there! So, again this begs the question "Should old acquaintance be forgot?" I say NO! Let's stay in touch, enjoy each others successes, grieve together and cheer on through the hard times. 

The Chinese calendar shows that 2010 was the year of the Tiger and 2011 is the year of the Rabbit. I wish you a peaceful and successful year of the Rabbit after we leave the wild Tiger behind. Much peace, love, joy and prosperity to you and your family! I plan to start my website business to work from home, plant a large garden, preserve more food, get my chickens and continue to develop my farm. I also plan to try to enjoy more, stress less and remember that the times my kids drive me crazy will end. 

Now get on with it and make this year mean something!

 

Learn more about the Chinese calendar and meanings 

7-7-7 my wedding day AND the number of hits!

I find it very exciting to see today that my blog is at 777 hits! That is the day I got married 7-7-7! Not blogging today, I know everyone is busy, have lots to do... Clean up the Christmas decorations, get ready to get the kids back to school, get ready to go back to work and have a wonderful New Year's Eve! So thanks for reading it makes me feel like I might actually write something amazing some day. I do hope you have enjoyed the blog or portions of it to date! I like to write fact but I am now working on poetry and plan to enter some competitions. I don't expect a great deal from that, but this is the first time I have ever had poetry jump out of my head onto the screen. It is true, poignant, raw and I have been told lovely! We shall see! I said I wasn't blogging today but in my thank you I have blogged, ironic? I think!

My kids are home for another week. I have had a little (HUGE) shock and found out I lost my income about 6 weeks earlier than planned! So when we shop today, nothing for mom! Oh well, that is the story of a mom's life right? The kids have some Christmas money and are hoping that the roads cooperate and we have  nice day in Fredericton! (I have heard from a shoe-a-holic and world class shopper that shall remain nameless! P.Casanave!) That Fredericton has her Favourite shoe store in the world so I must get there someday! Today, we hit boxing week!

Have a great day all! Feel free to leave comments to inspire me and I can only hope that from time to time I make you think deeper or have an amusing anecdote that you enjoy! If you don't like it, you can tell me that too! (I will try not to cry TOO loudly!) Have a wonderful day and I wish you and yours an amazing 2011!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE .... tomorrow!