Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, well, until tomorrow anyway, then IT's the first day! I was reading an article earlier today regarding the state of our world, planet, etc. and how there was not much we could do anymore except to give up hope. It seemed like a rather bleak outlook to me, so I continued to read. I guess that was the hook, eh? The article went on to say how we could feel hopeless and cry but then suck it up and move on. Do what we can each day to make the world a better place. So, that is why I am here... To help make YOUR world a better place! (OK! I will stop being cheeky!)

I guess I could feel down because the snow drifts surrounding my house have become higher than my window sills. I could feel down because the odds are we still have two months of winter left or because it is -14 c and we are due for another 20cm of snow on Monday. I could be depressed because I am broke and don't even have money to get the stuff I need to make crafts during the long winter. I could be discouraged because we still don't have bedrooms and if we are lucky the kids will be upstairs by summertime. I am worried though, because I am not really down or depressed. So if I am NOT depressed, am I ok? 

None of it seems really too important. I am still so appreciative of where I am and where I live. I hear about the predictions of 'when' the world will end. Odds are when it does I am not one of the fortunate to be lifted off to heaven and I may regret that when the time comes. BUT! I know I have lived my best, done my best, met challenges, survived them, moved on, tried not to take too much time to feel sorry for myself (although I have definitely taken some time for self pity) and love the people in my life. I am not a mean person, I try to help others when I can and I am thankful for my good fortune every day. I try to teach my children right from wrong and what is important. I hope that in the end, this will all account for something, but if not, c'est la vie!

I have discovered or re-discovered talents I never knew or forgot I had. I like to bake, keep house for my family, welcome my kids home at the end of the day, sit for hours with them to do homework and overall, I am pretty good with my life. I have a man that I love and he loves me. I have kids that are good, albeit manic and hormonal, but that's normal right? I have wonderful friends, even at a distance and when I go to bed at night I let out a big, pleased sigh and tuck right in.

My wish for others is to: find something, somewhere or someone you like. Make that be the best it can be for you. Don't keep searching for things to get better, just make them better. I am learning to live with less and as long as I have food, shelter, clothing and can get the kids to school all is well. I will know on Tuesday if my business plan goes through, which I would like! If it doesn't, I shall proceed anyway, just with less money. The money is nice and will allow us to finish rooms and build that chicken coop, get birds and maybe a small barn for some dairy goats. If the money does not come, then we will still do it, but slower and with more caution. Either way, life is good, the winter shall end in 8 weeks or so (I just made a Freudian slip, I typed "in 8 weeks or snow" instead of so! It may be might fault now if winter takes longer!)

I seriously want to write something important and I have been playing with writing for the past year to determine how to go forward and what to write. I have a few ideas and I keep rolling them around in my mind. If you think I should go for it, let me know! If not, well, who cares? Ha  ha! Just kidding! I really do appreciate any and all feedback.

Now, for today, I couldn't get to the store or have money to buy a gift, so I created one. I made a book, semi-scrapbooked it, for an 11 year old girl. I gave her ideas on how to be a happy teen, including helpful websites and information on inner beauty as well as some home grown tips on outer beauty! Did you know that a ripe tomato, sliced up, placed all over your face, (avoiding the eyes and mouth) will help remove black heads and add some colour and freshness to it? Wow, eh? Seem I am even learning how to make organic, home grown gifts! (Kind of proud of that actually!) Problem is, we have a party for a ten year old boy tomorrow and I think he would rather eat the tomato than sit with it on his face... Have to come up with something else for him! Ideas?

Time to make lunch, then layer on the heavy winter clothing. We are off to have a sliding/skidoo party outside for a few hours and then roast marshmallows over the fire and have hot chocolate. Yes it is cold, yes there is snow... We may as well make the most of it! Perhaps Jessica and I will build an igloo and post pictures soon!

As the great Sheryl Crowe says: " It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got" I think that is a good reminder for us all. I have highlighted a few favourite parts of the song, so ENJOY! So although this is a fun song with a good beat, it has an awesome message! See you soon Friends and Fans!

"Soak Up The Sun"

My friend the communist
Holds meetings in his RV
I can't afford his gas
So I'm stuck here watching TV
I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

[CHORUS:]
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up o I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe i am crazy too

[CHORUS]

I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me
Don't have no master suite
I'm still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I'm the one who has the key
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too

[CHORUS]

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on. 

Monday in Fosterville, NB

Well, the feedback I am getting is that the food looks good and the snow doesn't! I guess it is a matter of taste. Perhaps in a year or two it will bother me, not this year though! It is all just a novelty still... I hope I continue to enjoy it! Of course life is different here and I spend my time trying to stay busy rather than the old, I NEED TIME! My mantra now is not, I need 4 more hours in a day! It is only, I need more money to do what I want! Oh well, I hope to know in about a week the result of my business plan. She (the consultant) did indicate it was one of the best she had seen and was very encouraging so I am just enjoying the last week or so before I get the results. 

We received another foot of snow and it is too deep to really even use a skidoo at the moment, not that we have one. The neighbours do and it seems to be getting stuck in the deep drifts. I keep trying to get the kids to build me a snowman, but to no avail and I have to say that I don't think snowman building ever really interested me. I guess I did it when I was a kid, but there were usually about four or more working on it at the same time and the job went quickly. 

Just a quick note for today! I posted a new story on my other blog http://sarah-sherman.blogspot.com and it is called "Beauty is only skin deep". I hope you enjoy it! Now, off to make dinner and get the kids ready for school tomorrow!

The New Year in New Brunswick... A few photos!

Home Baked Porridge Bread

Farm cookies until the Real farm starts!

Plowed snow first floor window

The living room view to the street

The shop in the blizzard

Ice huts & fishing

So glad we have 2 wood stoves!

The kids sent home early because of the blizzard!

The New Brunswick Sky at Night

The Sky

The sky is clear

The stars I see

The trees look tall

No shadows for me

I feel so small

The universe is near

Up on Green Mountain

The  coyote cries

The bear are asleep

The moose they moan

The deer will hide

From a hunters gun

The duck are gone

Pending summer’s sun

I am small

The trees are tall

The sky is vast

I fall to sleep.

At last…

Sarah Sherman

If you are a mom.... Like this (An ode to Facebook Posts!) sort of...

There is a Facebook posting that goes around and it says:

"PROMISE TO MY CHILDREN: I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you crazy, be your worst nightmare, embarrass you in front of your friends, & hunt you down like a bloodhound..because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves you, prays for you, cares about you, & worries about you more than your MOM! Repost if you're a Mom!! ♥"

 I see this posted on so many mom's profiles and we all mean it! BUT! Do our kids get it? Do they realize when we say "I will stalk you" it means,  I will keep an eye on you, know where you are and help you make the right choices. "I will flip out on you" means, I will be upset if you lie to me, endanger yourself or are disrespectful. I want you to learn to be someone of value, someone of quality who can be trusted and loved. "I will lecture you" means, I will repeat myself over and over and over and over... because I know that half of what I say is gone before I am done my sentence, BUT, if I repeat myself and show you that the basics of who you are and who you can be, does not change even though people do and society does, one day it will sink in and you will be glad that I never gave up on you.

"I will drive you crazy" means, I will sound old fashioned, I will look angry, I will make you wish you could forget who I was... but I will NEVER forget who you are, who you will be and how much I love you. I do have feelings too and I will be hurt when you throw words at me that sting but I will always be here. "I will be your worst nightmare" means, when you date that guy who treats you bad, I will kick him to the curb. I don't care that you think he is the one, I will tell you why he is not and that it is NEVER OK to let him treat you like you don't matter... You DO matter and you always WILL matter. 

"I will embarrass you in front of your friends" means, when you talk trash, are mean, speak vulgar, or act like less than you are, to impress someone else, I will call you on it. You NEVER need to bring yourself down to someone else to make them think you are cool. You are MORE than cool! You are beautiful, amazing, talented and need to give yourself credit for that. "I will hunt you down like a bloodhound" means, if I think you are unsafe, I will find you. If someone takes you and you don't want to be there, I will bring you back. If you are in danger, I will try to protect you, even if I get hurt. 

My child, you are more valuable than anything on this earth. You have great things to accomplish in your life. There are times when life is hard and we want to give up, but we can't. You got me through when I wanted to give up and I will do all I can to get you through when you want to give up. YOU are the only person who needs to learn to love you. The rest of us do and want you to love yourself.

If you are a mom... post this. Being a mom, doesn't mean "I will give you the best things" it means I will give you the BEST example and love. Being a mom doesn't mean "I have to have lots of money" it means, I have to have lots of love and call on myself to have lots of patience, even when I lose it. Being a mom means teaching you how to care for yourself, cook, clean, earn money and be self sufficient and strong, never having to be dependent on another if you don't wan to. Being a mom doesn't mean   anything if I don't teach you, my child, to learn to love yourself, respect yourself, learn the value of a dollar and the value of YOU! 

To both my girls, I love you, I always will. I won't always agree with you. I won't always make you happy, but I will always do what I think is the best thing for you in the long run. I will make mistakes and I may say the wrong thing in anger but I will accept my faults and offer you an apology and try to repair the hurt. I never want you to leave me out of unhappiness or despair. I want you to leave me when you are ready and prepared to take on life's journey and YOUR future.

Your loving mother, as inadequate as I may be some days, I am your mom and love you desperately! If you are a mom... Like THIS!

A poem for my girls..........

My Daughter

Once she was tiny

A mere 7lbs in my hands

Then she grew stronger

My arms held her close

As a toddler she was brave

She could walk a long way

She loved her mama well

She was a survivor I could tell

She hugged me tight

She kissed me goodnight

She continued to grow

A young woman I began to know

She is taller than me now

She thinks she knows it all

But her mother she will come to

When her world begins to fall

There are days we cry together

Then we are birds of a feather

One day she may know

The joy of a mother’s heart

She will learn the sorrow

Of watching your child grow

She will leave me

She will go out on her own

But she will always know

She can return home

Her mother adores her

She is in my heart

No matter where life takes us

We will never be apart

My baby is not 7

She is not even 11

But hopefully by the time

She reaches 27

She will be my friend

In my heart to the end

A mother loves her child

She learns to let go

But the worry, the love

Never from her mind go

Sarah Sherman