It's all relative... (my apologies...)

Recently I had the opportunity to enroll into a local Community Food Mentoring Program. I will be honest, the reason I took this program was to get my Food Safety Certification (for free a $142 value) and then to have some time out, taking some training and connecting with people. I never thought too much about what it all meant - at least not past what I could get out of it.

The first day was lots of fun, although overwhelming. I attended with the larger group who are taking the full 5 week mentoring program as well as a group of 8 women from my community who were just attending the food safety section - we all wanted to get certified for safety reasons since we do so much locally with food. There are SO many rules in food safety! Some are great, some are common sense and some do seem like overkill, having said that we made it through, took the test and now await the results.

Christmas 2012 - Thankful

The next few weeks were/are on topics such as Food Security, Learning How to Eat Well for Less, Getting comfortable with the Canada Food Guide, learning more about sustainable food in our community,  learning how to teach adults  and my favourite part, cooking with a chef each week to create our wholesome lunches using a wide variety of foods. 

Local Pork, carrots & home made noodles

I have to admit, that day one I did not really "get" the purpose of the course. I also felt bad for the facilitators since they have a course almost full of people who are "the converted", people who are into local, sustainable, responsibly raised food, avoiding GMO's and who definitely reach for organic. As one fellow put it, "We are a room full of food radicals." Now, initially, I thought, great! It is awesome to be in a group of people who "get it" but, after the end of the first day, that we were NOT getting it.

What do I mean? Well, yes, we all know what we should eat, health wise, organically, etc, but what we were forgetting or avoiding was that NOT everyone can do this, not everyone has that choice. I am happy for myself that I have learned to use more of what is around me, I have learned to use more whole foods, less processed foods and I now understand that when I hear organic or no GMO's it simply means that I am making choices for better overall nutrition in my life.

I wasn't always this person though. I was a single mom. I had very little money. I had to make choices on putting gas in my car to get my daughter to school or buying milk and cereal to stretch my budget for the rest of the week. Yes, education is important, yes, healthy food is important but not being hungry? That was the goal for my girls. There were times where I didn't eat with them, I told them I had eaten earlier, or I wasn't hungry - this is what parents in poverty do. I faced decisions of food to fill my cupboards and my children's bellies, rather than to nutritionally fill them in a healthy way. AND yes at times, I was just lazy, or tired, or trying to cope. 

I realized on day 3 of my course, that we weren't all getting this. I had to step back, try to get across to my group that not everyone has the opportunity to grow their own food, shop across the border for better deals, bring food in from other cities or even have a car to drive around town to shop for sales. When a person has little to no food options they just do what they have to do. I had to stop myself from being hypocritical. 

So, I once again had to place myself in the situation of many Canadians around me. Parents who are not stupid, who understand that they aren't always making the best choice for their child, but families who are just struggling to get by. Yes, in many circumstances it is cheaper to eat whole food than processed food, but as this video link tells you, there are people who don't have the time to grow, preserve, prepare and they are working hard just to keep a roof over their kids heads. People who feel they have accomplished something by ensuring their kids have food on the table each day.

I am an advocate of good, healthy, GMO free, organic, local, sustainable foods - but, I also remember , now, that someone just trying to get through their week, will not appreciate what I tell them if I am lecturing them, or making them feel bad/worse about their lives. I remember now, I need to lead by example, kindness, sharing, thoughtfulness and hope that some of those tricks and lessons I have learned, may help someone else. If it doesn't that is ok, I will still be their friend, support them and understand they are doing the best that they can.

Sarah & Len - East Grand Lake - Sunset

We all do our best. We make improvements and slowly change. I still have some foods with preservatives in my cupboard, not really proud of it, but I do. Sometimes it is laziness on my part. Overall we eat well, healthy, locally but we are still able to go to someones home or a restaurant and enjoy a meal - knowing that it may not be local, etc. This course has reminded me I need more fruits and veggies in my diet. I am grateful for the opportunities I have and I know we do NEED change in our Canadian food system and will continue to advocate for that, but I will try not to be too obnoxious or annoying, ok? 

If you can - watch this video, inner city schools in the USA but Canada has the same issues. Take care and HAPPY THANKSGIVING to my American friends!

Video via Upworthy 

What does your zip code have to do with your life expectancy?

Typing away... and a little reward!

Len and I are both working hard this winter to spend more time writing. I am trying to write short stories   not over thinking them. Just bashing out some work to get the creative juices flowing. Then back to my masterpiece!

We both entered CANADA WRITES CBC creative non fiction last year (no neither of us even hit the long list!) Last week we both submitted stories to the fiction contest and this weekend CANADA WRITES posted a new contest, a quickie! Bloodlines - a true story with a photo, no entry fee, so what the hell! We may as well!

We have discussed how they must select winners, judge, etc. Yesterday I noticed that stories are being instantly published! Well I was having trouble coming up with a story that hit the criteria, but managed to pound one off last night. I found it very tough to write a detailed interesting story in only 500 words. My blogs are longer than that!

Anyway, I did it and so did Len. Imagine our surprise this afternoon as we both sat down at our computers after lunch to discover an email telling us our stories had been published! So, with that said, I invite you to have a read at both my story and Len's story.

My story is the story of "The Long Walk" a day that my friend and I went to the store, only to be brought home after a massive police hunt searching for us. (Just click the link below the picture.)

http://www.cbc.ca/books/canadawrites/2013/11/bloodlines-upload-story.html#mid=13778793&offset=3&page=&s=

Len has shared a story about his mom "The Transformation" and his memories of her... Quite a read! (Just click the link below the picture.)

http://www.cbc.ca/books/canadawrites/2013/11/bloodlines-upload-story.html#mid=13782269&offset=0&page=&s=

That's it for now! Have a great day!

And the torch is passed on....

 Growing up Baby!

From sweet little infant, to employed student in Vancouver - you've come a long way baby! (OK, yes SHE has come along way, but what about me? I was there for the whole journey too!)

I graduated from high school in 1984, almost 30 years ago! At that time I was somewhat like my daughter is now, wondering what to do with my life, was I good enough, did I have the strength or courage? Unlike her I didn't really have any great interest in anything and I was not accepted to the church college I thought I wanted to attend in the USA - so I went to the local college in a neighbouring city. 

All of my friends were entering college or university in September 1984 and I had no clue what I wanted to do but I knew one thing, I was MOVING out! So late August of that year, I decided to enroll in basic university prep courses that would apply to something, somewhere down the road. Student loans aren't like they are now but I did apply. My parents were having a rough time financially so they were unable to help me much. (I get that now, since I am not paying my daughters way at all.) 

I had to be VERY economical and while my friends were getting apartments, in secure buildings, in "safer" areas of town, with monthly allowances... I found a little bachelor suite in the basement of a house renting from an older couple. They were nice people and my place was VERY tiny for $220 a month it was what I could afford. Of course there wasn't much left over for groceries, since my parents helped me as much as they could and gave me $1200 for 4 months rent, food, laundry, etc. Money was tight and I ate a lot Ramen Chinese noodles with cheap hot dogs and learned to use peanut butter in a multitude of ways! I was excited though! I was on my own (very lonely!) and was enrolled in college. 

Speeding ahead in the story, this is a blog, not a book! I was not ready for school. I was broke but managed to find money to buy drinks, skip class, go to parties and basically squander this opportunity completely! I had NO idea what a mistake I was making! By the end of December I had failed my classes, been evicted from my little suite and felt pretty crappy about myself. Three days before Christmas, I made some hasty decisions and packed up what little I had, left some boxes at a relatives with things I couldn't take with me and hopped on a bus to Banff, Alberta to clean hotel rooms for minimum wage. It took me about 2 years to focus and get back to school then by May of 1988 I was living full time in the big city of Vancouver. Living there and loving it! 

Now my daughter has followed my journey, somewhat in reverse... She moved across the country, drove in her little car 5600 KM, worked in a hotel cleaning rooms - lasted longer than I did! Then decided that yes school was sounding good! She is in now in Vancouver, working and about to move into her first apartment! I can't do much to help her from here, but it is reassuring to know that some of the things that her dad and I collected and loved will now be in her new home and that she can reclaim some of his art work for her walls.

Her new home is much nicer than mine was and she shouldn't be as lonely since she will have room mates and someone to go to school with since her friend is enrolled in the same course at the same time. We never know what life will throw us, or how we will deal with it. We never realize what we have until its gone, but I am happy to see that she has found a path, following it and even though its not easy, she is out there living her life.

It is now almost 30 years later and the world has changed. I had no phone, internet or cable - Yes! Cable and phones DID exist! I hope that she will be eating more than cheap Chinese noodles and I am grateful that I have some amazing friends that have helped her, supported her, put her up while she settled in and now others who are finding items for her new home. I am grateful for the tough times and learning experiences that I had and YES I loved living in Vancouver!

Now I am settled in little old Fosterville, NB on  Golden Unicorn Farm and I am grateful that my daughter has access to Facebook and phone so we can stay in frequent contact. I am grateful that unlike me, who spent half my pay cheque calling home, crying to my mom, she, can call and cry to me for almost no money! I wish I could be there, help her settle in, experience some of what she is going through, but I can't.

Next Sunday, my baby turns 19 years old and will be her first birthday that we are apart. Wow! I am getting old! I wouldn't change it though. A life lived, lessons learned and I am now blessed with beautiful children, a loving husband and great friends. I pray that the example I have set will resonate with her. That she will not make the poor choices I did, that she will honour the positive ones and that she will live, love and laugh...

Yes, the torch has been passed on... 

Go rock Vancouver little girl! 

(Unlike your mother, don't stay drunk, 

skip classes and love your awesome new home!

The land of vacations....

One more week until it is time to "Fall Back" and reset the clocks. Halloween is only days away and for one of the first years ever, I don't feel very interested in it. Maybe because Jessica is the only child for 5 miles around and I don't really expect anyone to come by. I did get a few things just in case but it is not like it used to be. I used to go all out, decorate, dress up, mood lighting... oh well, allows for a quiet evening for me since Jess will probably go to Canterbury and trick or treat with a friend.



Travelling with my handsome
Niagara Falls

 

We recently took our first vacation in years. It really was a vacation, no work involved - volunteer or paid and no other obligations than to see Len's family and have some fun - which we did! We ended up with a free rental car for a week which made for very relaxed driving and went to all the sites that I wanted to see... Niagara Falls and the CN Tower. Yes, it was VERY touristy and definitely hit the old pocket book but it was worth it and is probably the only time it will happen.

 

Me, CN Tower - Glass Floor

It was strange travelling with only one child... She had no one to fight with over the back seat, over who got the bed or floor in the hotel, fight with over the laptop, etc... It was very pleasant and with the exception of one melt down on the way home, I would say a success! Even the people we visited said she was pleasant to be around, so, my theory is, one child DOES work! Of course my oldest laughed at me and told me I was a bad parent for even expressing this thought ... Then she remembered how she had me alone for the first 7 years and how much easier some things were... (and NO I wouldn't change it, love them both, but starting to think that 7 year difference is ok again.)

 

Now on parenting, apparently I am a mean old fashioned mom. No, it is true! I was at the school the other day, waiting with Jess and a few of the kids from her class for about an hour in the hall way  waiting for appointments. School was in session and we chatted quietly, we hoped, while we waited. I learned the following things:

1. I am old. Yes, its true, I am 47 (and a half, but we won't talk about that) and I had Jess, my last baby at age 35 (and a half). The other girls are in Jess' grade but almost a year older than her since their birthdays are January and February and they will be 13 and Jess is turning 12 at the end of November.



One kid WAS OK, for a while

1. Child one: Turning 13 and mom is 31, Child Two: Turning 13 and mom is 34, Child Three: (Mine) Turning 12 and mom is 47 - This means I was already older than there moms are now when I had my daughter. IKES! Yes, OLD rush hit me! To know that their moms were not even as old now as I was when I had her, felt really weird! This was clarified when child one pointed out at least I was almost the same age as her grandma?!
2. Child one, informed me that her mom was pretty clear on her NOT getting pregnant young, waiting until she was at least 25 years old before having children. Sounds reasonable to me. I was 28 the first time, so I could definitely relate to this more. Particularly since at 18 I didn't know where to live, work, partied too much for a job or school and was a bit of a flake. I would have taken care of a baby if I had one but so glad I didn't. Seems like good advice to me. Child two, told me her mom would want her to wait but would also be happy to let her live there and raise the baby with her. Very supportive. (NOTE: I am not judging their choices, just pointing out my perspective. Thank you and please throw eggs at my car in your rant as it is easier to wash than my house.)
1.  Child three, mine, to quote her "My mom would kill me and kick me out if I was pregnant." Oops! But yes, I have not encouraged my kids to have babies before they are old enough, mature enough, financially stable and have lived a little to have kids. Yes, the girls mouths dropped, eyes wide open and horrified they thought I was the devil incarnate. My kid, just went, it's ok, I just won't get pregnant. (YAY! So glad SHE got the point!) Am I too old for this? Maybe! (I am pretty certain this did not help my local reputation, however, if my kids get that having a baby is more than about how NOT to get pregnant and that babies are more than cute little crying, peeing, eating creatures and a life time of work and responsibility - I accept being the evil mom and knowing that they get the point.
3. The final part of the conversation revolved around not getting pregnant. One girl told me how she had been kissing boys since last winter - I told her this would get her pregnant. (No she didn't buy it, but did tell me that her mom was going to be careful and put her on the pill for her 14th birthday... I mentioned there is one sure fire way not to get pregnant - don't have sex!) She told me that was true, but better safe than sorry. (OK I shall concede to this point - but no my girl is not getting birth control as a birthday present - I will just lock her up in the Fosterville tower, think that will work?) AND yes I will love my kids no matter what but if they make life time choices they do know they have to face them.

Being a mom and a grandma

Yes, I am old. I found that being 47 it was more fun to grandparent for a few days than to have another baby and yes, as much as I love my kids, I do enjoy them leaving the nest, living their own lives, fulfilling their destiny and having some time alone with those who are left in the house. Perhaps in 6 years when Jess leaves Len and I will get a few years to ourselves. Time where if we want to leave for a weekend, go for a drive and stay away for the night, make love all afternoon (well we probably won't take that long to finish) on a Saturday afternoon instead of late at night when everyone falls asleep.

 

For now, we shall save our afternoon delight for weekdays,
 before the bus gets home.

Yes, we are old,
 but we are still vibrant and in love!

Me and My Soul Mate

Where did the summer go?

As every summer ends I look forward to the quiet and peace of winter. Winter seems interminable and I greatly anticipate summer. Summer comes life zooms by, we are busy and the kids grow and we get older. Summer ends and I wonder, "Where did summer go?" I don't even feel I had time to smell the flowers. Autumn has hit and winter once again approaches...

This past spring and summer had the added trip urgency of one trip to Montreal and three trips to Halifax for Jessica and medical treatment and surgery. As a result she was housebound and had to remain inactive for much of the summer which added to my worry and concern but thankfully she healed well from an old injury and the fabulous doctor's in Halifax who repaired her. I was incredibly impressed with the treatment and care at the children's hospital and can't tell them enough how much that helped in how we dealt with everything. THANK YOU so much for the work you do - kudos to the doctors and nurses at the IWK!

Of course it wouldn't be enough to be able to focus exclusively on one child, no, Rachel was completing high school and preparing for graduation and prom. Now this is not like when I graduated almost 30 years ago and had one event to attend plus pictures done at the school by the same photographer everyone else used. 

 

 No, we had to hire a photographer (very pleased with her work) take additional grad poses and "environmental" photos for the yearbook. We had to make two trips to Moncton 3.5 hours away to choose and pick up the prom dress. We had to attend the grade 12 banquet/play, baccalaureate at the church, prom and graduation. Oh and I ALMOST forgot a graduation party was required!

  

 

Now, don't get me wrong it was lovely but in some ways seemed very overboard. I kept things as simple as I could and it was very expensive, I have no idea how some people did it. In addition to this my "farm" clothes were just not going to cut it so I had to dress out Len, Jess and I so we wouldn't look like hillbillies at these events either. (Apparently my man was over dressed but I think he looked adorable!) 

No, I wouldn't have passed on any of this. My daughter went through a lot to get through high school and I always promised her "when you graduate - you get it all" whatever it all was at the time. (I am now saving loonies in a jar for Jess' graduation in 6 years!) Yes it was worth it and I was incredibly proud of my baby girl and wish her the best as she got in her little car the day after graduation to drive west and begin her adult life.

Amid all of this we were happy to host Len's brother and family for a few days. They were great guests, jovial, enjoyed the farm, food and family but I got sick so have to say a heartfelt thank you to Lylia for keeping things going since I became a poor host. They did get the teepee put up though so that was awesome! That was a huge help to Len!

So summer arrived and the shop did amazingly well. I was very happy with the feedback and support from the locals and the lake people/tourists. I had many wonderful compliments on my food which makes me so happy since I never used to be able to bake very well. It seems that solitude and time on my hands has helped me work toward perfecting this craft. However due the great response I was too busy to do much else all summer. Oh well, can't complain there, just be grateful and know that before long I will have lots of time to sit, write, think, nap, watch the snow fall and perhaps paint some flowers and take the time to smell them? 

It is harvest and preservation time so I am working on that. Len's oldest daughter comes to visit next weekend and I plan to sit and enjoy a few glasses of wine with her and maybe get a little touristy. Jess and I have one final trip to Halifax. Len raised a cow with a neighbour so we will have good healthy meat for the year and we are even going on a little vacation soon to visit Len's daughter and family in Toronto, what more could I ask for? Life is good, I am very fortunate and blessed. I have a wonderful home, great family, husband I adore, children I love and who are growing well. And of course you, who are still here, actually reading... so thanks and have a great day!