Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

Today school reopened in New Brunswick and grudgingly the girls got up, prepared for school and exited on the bus. Although it was New Years Day a week ago, it feels like today to me. We are now back into routine, have a schedule and can plan for the upcoming year.

I haven't set any resolutions but do have some goals. Is that the same? I don't think so. A resolution is broken as soon as I forget or breakdown. Where as a goal is something that I continually work toward and if I forget or break, well I just keep moving forward. It may be semantics, but feels positive and I am going with it!

It is Monday, early afternoon. I was supposed to go to Glenn and Edna's today to clean and had fully planned on it. However, after I got up to start to get ready I just felt so blah, low energy, not up to par, that I called to ask if I could go tomorrow instead. Glenn was very supportive and said yes. No, there is not really anything "wrong" with me, I just feel like I needed a bit of time alone, recuperate after the kids went back to their lives. Time to get a few things in order myself and allow me to get on track for the new year. So, thank you Glenn, I shall be there tomorrow with bells on! (OK not really bells, but I made some split pea and ham soup and will bring some to Edna!)

I am the parent who counts down to school reopening. That always brings up parental comments like "Oh, I love my kids and having them at home." Um, I don't remember saying I don't love my kids? Or the comments like "I wish they could be home everyday!" Sorry, I don't. Now, I never used to understand that from parents when my first was a baby, but I do now. Wanting them at school doesn't mean I don't love them, it doesn't mean I don't want them around. My comments about school reopening, means that we have had some fun, slept in, great heart to hearts with everyone, time to regenerate for the next term and we will enjoy the next break. My comments about returning to school means, I love them, (um, duh?) it means that a schedule and routine are part of a healthy life style, that time apart is positive for growth - for us all, time with friends instead of mom is necessary socially and that they need to start to do stuff for themselves again. It is very easy to revert into the "Mom!" "What?" "I need..." "It's by the... Oh, I'll just do it myself!" pattern. The  kids of course are great manipulators and get me almost every time. So, onto the new year, for them and me! Love you babies! Now, go catch that bus!

My goals for the new year are achievable, positive and measurable. I am almost afraid to write them down because then someone, likely my family, will say "I thought you were going to do ... less, or .... more?" Please refrain from that husband and children! I do need to write them down to compare how I have done and remember what they are. Just note that they are GOALS based on my definition and not RESOLUTIONS!

Do I have to explain this?

1. Less Facebook - possible, achievable, but do I want to? I realized a few weeks ago that since I don't have many face to face friends where I am, I do look to Facebook for friendship/conversation. I can still do that, but need to set boundaries. IE: when doing work, writing or websites, turn FB OFF!
2. Write more - deeper content - I recently had the opportunity to work on a book/biography for someone as the writer. I was incredibly inspired and motivated and began my research. Although I want to write something longer and have a novel on the back burner, I thought that this genre may be easier to do since I can use facts, history, interviews, etc. as well as a personal narrative while writing. I was SO psyched for this! Sadly, we have had to put that on the back burner for awhile, but I am still here when the subject is ready to move forward. In the meantime, I need to write... so I will start hacking away at my book. I am thinking a schedule will help for that! 
3. Publishing: I plan to submit at least one article to a magazine, one poem to a contest and MAYBE a short story as well.  I also plan to self-publish my poetry. I don't expect great sales but will be putting together a little book for under $20 and hope to have some artwork and photography in it. (Please feel free to preorder!)
4. Although I am a very busy person, I do take personal time. I am not physically active enough and yes my weight has risen (please inform my mom, this is something she always asks me! That is another story though.) I am not as concerned about weight as health. I can be thin. I have been thin. I don't care to starve myself or exercise excessively to be that way. We eat a pretty healthy diet, don't eat out and not much processed food. I do need more energy though. The lack of energy which I am still working on a solution to, has held me back and caused me to become less active. I do know that increasing activity increases energy, so that is on the list. I guess I will pack in the porch full of wood this afternoon!
5. Get my personal affairs in order. I am notorious for not completing paperwork or financial records. I will work myself up into such a tizzy that I can't even move forward and get so overwhelmed I will walk away. It doesn't seem to matter if this causes me to be short of money or not, I just go BLANK. My goal - get things in order. Get things off my plate that don't need to be there and that will ultimately improve my financial and mental health. 
6. 4-H - very excited about this! My friend Anita and I have started 4-H in the neighbourhood so that our children have some opportunities without us having to travel. Our little club is growing and the kids seem excited, this is a FUN project!
7. Improve our farm. I need to have a better garden this year. I am thinking less variety more of what grew well and store it away for winter. I do preserve, but I get behind and that evil anxiety shuts me down ... so, stop it Sarah! Plan, complete, store! I CAN DO IT! We are also hoping to start our bee hives this year and have recently decided to get meat birds. I was concerned about meat birds since they grow so quickly and practically fall over when ready for the freezer but I have found more palatable and responsible growth options. We will pasture our meat birds, let them grow a little slower, instead of 6 weeks, we are going to try 8-10 weeks. Based on my research it is possible! Eggs, Meat Birds and Honey = REVENUE. The bee hives can be put in Luki's pasture so they are protected from bears and predators. It should all work and more market products!

Jessica - 4-H President

You see now why I need to increase my energy - lots of work coming up. The farm market is slow this time of year and we are somewhat in hibernation mode. Len is completing my pantry room - big room, shelves, cooking equipment - almost like a butlers pantry! This will help restore order so that the house feels less chaotic.

So, to 2012, I say, bring it on baby! I can do this and it is going to be a GREAT year! Now, I better get those dishes done, wood packed and maybe the floor scrubbed while I have the house to myself. Have a great day!