Daisy...

My Daisy Charm - Travelling Companion

Daisy - For some reason I seem to identify with the flower - daisy. I LOVE them! I adore Gerbera's - had them all over my wedding to Trip and all colours and sizes! I have multiple table cloths covered in daisies. I have a pot of them in my yard. I love the variety of roadside daisies and I NEVER cut them in my yard, I just let them grow in the grass until they are done! This simple flower makes me happy and we all need to find our happy place. 

Because I feel connected to them on some subliminal level, I decided to look up different definitions and symbolism and this is what I found - do you think it works for me? I really do!

Daisy is a feminine given name, commonly thought to be derived from the name of the flower. The flower name comes from the Old English word dægeseage, meaning "day's eye".[1] The name Daisy is therefore ultimately derived from this source. - wikipedia

Daisies symbolize innocence and purity. ... In Norse mythology, the daisy is Freya's sacred flower. Freya is the goddess of love, beauty, and fertility, and as such the daisy came by symbolize childbirth, motherhood, and new beginnings. Daisies are sometimes given to congratulate new mothers. - ftd.com

Astrological Meaning of Daisies. In the realm of color meanings, the common daisy reveals its symbolic messages with the colors white and yellow. Yellow is symbolic of vitality, radiance, alacrity (quick wit), communication and creativity. White underscores the daisy's meaning of purity, innocence, cleansing. - what's your sign.com

English dæġes ēaġe (“daisy”, literally “day's eye”) due to the flowers closing their blossoms during night. - wikitionary

My annual Goldenrod Tea harvest

What do you think? I think much of this resonates with me, my soul and how I feel. Particularly the last one at the moment, because this blossom needs her sleep and is definitely ready to close at night! I am telling you about the Daisy because if you follow me, you know this is my self chosen hippie name and it makes me happy and feel good! So, when I received a beautiful gift in the mail last week, sent to me from a remote part of Vancouver Island from an old friend who is very dear to me, it brought me joy. It made my spirit light and feel happiness for a few minutes on a day that had been very tough. The adorable figurine arrived by Canada Post in a plain box , wrapped in paper with a beautiful card telling me I was loved. Thank you my dear friend! This gorgeous piece will travel with me in the hippie hangout as I rediscover who I am and hopefully find cleansing of my mind, replenish my vitality and communicate my creativity. The past week was busy and I didn't get to thank you...  

If you have been reading this blog - you know Trip had a rough week. He was very despondent and not sure what to do next and how to go on and that frightened me. I was working on an event (that turned out amazing by the way!) that took me and my attention away from him. This was following the arts festival and company/family visiting and while it was and is all awesome - it was hard for both of us. He needs me and counts on me to be there for him and that is where I want to be, so, I am officially declining further events/bookings/work until we get him back to the healing side and out of treatment. The coffee shop has two more weekends and will remain open until the ice cream sells out but I won't be leaving him much for a while.

Peace & Quiet

I guess for me one of the hardest things was trying to figure out what to do and how to make things work better. I have had fabulous support and help over the past few weeks and that was crucial but it wasn't quite the same. I spent much of last week navigating the medical system, doctors, nurses, receptionists, etc. Everyone has done their best but sometimes things just either get lost or miscommunicated. By Friday I learned the doctor wanted to meet with him prior to proceeding and I waited all day for the Monday appointment time. The phone was in my pocket and never rang.

Watching him get weaker and frustrated and trying to cope wore me down. I was up early Monday and had to call the cancer clinic as soon as it opened at 8AM and I learned that no one called me because no one was there. A slip up on their end and we rectified it immediately but that sort of thing causes anxiety and tension and in someone who is slipping into depression, any extra pressure is too much.

Fortunately we were able to meet with the doctor via a system called Tele-Health - similar to Skype but much more secure I assume. She was good, took more time with us, listened to his concerns and our mutual frustrations as we stressed his need to feel better. I advocated for him and he was strong in his opinions and feelings which I believe were listened to. You don't always feel that way, but I did yesterday. 

Trip testing this years apples

It turned out his white blood cell count is low, his potassium is low and that with his weight loss was to much for him to take treatment this week. Therefore he has been scheduled to start again on September 5th - this will mean he has almost 5 weeks between treatments to build up his strength and complete his last 3 sessions of chemotherapy. I could see his relief immediately. He just needed some time, to have someone understand his situation and allow him a break. We both walked out feeling calmer and stronger I think.

Right now we are resting. Having quiet time together. Setting boundaries and accepting that I am just going to be with him and stop trying to do too much. The house will slowly get into order as I reduce what I do - again. His health will improve as we focus on his meals, calories, healing foods and napping. I will feel better as I take time to just take care of me - I thought I was - but probably not. It is all a journey, one we maneuver together and when we come out the other side our love will have carried us through. It has been a strange summer - less socializing, virtually no lake time, no garden or pots of veggies growing, no canning and although the apple tree is groaning with fruit, we won't be able to pick much of it. I will do up some apples for us and I picked some of my annual goldenrod tea to dry today... but that's it!

http://sarahsherman.myctfocbd.com

I am so grateful for what we have, the people around us, the family in our lives and our children and grandchildren. My mom is amazing and I love her very much. I know sometimes I sound frustrated or short with her and I don't mean to, but I am thinking it is an unconditional love, mother/daughter thing. Yesterday Len/Trip said to me, "I need to talk to your mom." I said, "really?" because I usually do that. He said, "Yes, she is my 'last' mother. I need to let her know I am going to be ok and how you are." I thought that was so sweet... 

Maybe my mom is a Daisy too...

Peace and love,

Daisy