Monday, October 28, 2013

The land of vacations....

One more week until it is time to "Fall Back" and reset the clocks. Halloween is only days away and for one of the first years ever, I don't feel very interested in it. Maybe because Jessica is the only child for 5 miles around and I don't really expect anyone to come by. I did get a few things just in case but it is not like it used to be. I used to go all out, decorate, dress up, mood lighting... oh well, allows for a quiet evening for me since Jess will probably go to Canterbury and trick or treat with a friend.

Travelling with my handsome
Niagara Falls
We recently took our first vacation in years. It really was a vacation, no work involved - volunteer or paid and no other obligations than to see Len's family and have some fun - which we did! We ended up with a free rental car for a week which made for very relaxed driving and went to all the sites that I wanted to see... Niagara Falls and the CN Tower. Yes, it was VERY touristy and definitely hit the old pocket book but it was worth it and is probably the only time it will happen.

Me, CN Tower - Glass Floor
It was strange travelling with only one child... She had no one to fight with over the back seat, over who got the bed or floor in the hotel, fight with over the laptop, etc... It was very pleasant and with the exception of one melt down on the way home, I would say a success! Even the people we visited said she was pleasant to be around, so, my theory is, one child DOES work! Of course my oldest laughed at me and told me I was a bad parent for even expressing this thought ... Then she remembered how she had me alone for the first 7 years and how much easier some things were... (and NO I wouldn't change it, love them both, but starting to think that 7 year difference is ok again.)
Now on parenting, apparently I am a mean old fashioned mom. No, it is true! I was at the school the other day, waiting with Jess and a few of the kids from her class for about an hour in the hall way  waiting for appointments. School was in session and we chatted quietly, we hoped, while we waited. I learned the following things:

  1. I am old. Yes, its true, I am 47 (and a half, but we won't talk about that) and I had Jess, my last baby at age 35 (and a half). The other girls are in Jess' grade but almost a year older than her since their birthdays are January and February and they will be 13 and Jess is turning 12 at the end of November.
  2. One kid WAS OK, for a while
    1. Child one: Turning 13 and mom is 31, Child Two: Turning 13 and mom is 34, Child Three: (Mine) Turning 12 and mom is 47 - This means I was already older than there moms are now when I had my daughter. IKES! Yes, OLD rush hit me! To know that their moms were not even as old now as I was when I had her, felt really weird! This was clarified when child one pointed out at least I was almost the same age as her grandma?!
  3. Child one, informed me that her mom was pretty clear on her NOT getting pregnant young, waiting until she was at least 25 years old before having children. Sounds reasonable to me. I was 28 the first time, so I could definitely relate to this more. Particularly since at 18 I didn't know where to live, work, partied too much for a job or school and was a bit of a flake. I would have taken care of a baby if I had one but so glad I didn't. Seems like good advice to me. Child two, told me her mom would want her to wait but would also be happy to let her live there and raise the baby with her. Very supportive. (NOTE: I am not judging their choices, just pointing out my perspective. Thank you and please throw eggs at my car in your rant as it is easier to wash than my house.)
    1.  Child three, mine, to quote her "My mom would kill me and kick me out if I was pregnant." Oops! But yes, I have not encouraged my kids to have babies before they are old enough, mature enough, financially stable and have lived a little to have kids. Yes, the girls mouths dropped, eyes wide open and horrified they thought I was the devil incarnate. My kid, just went, it's ok, I just won't get pregnant. (YAY! So glad SHE got the point!) Am I too old for this? Maybe! (I am pretty certain this did not help my local reputation, however, if my kids get that having a baby is more than about how NOT to get pregnant and that babies are more than cute little crying, peeing, eating creatures and a life time of work and responsibility - I accept being the evil mom and knowing that they get the point.
  4. The final part of the conversation revolved around not getting pregnant. One girl told me how she had been kissing boys since last winter - I told her this would get her pregnant. (No she didn't buy it, but did tell me that her mom was going to be careful and put her on the pill for her 14th birthday... I mentioned there is one sure fire way not to get pregnant - don't have sex!) She told me that was true, but better safe than sorry. (OK I shall concede to this point - but no my girl is not getting birth control as a birthday present - I will just lock her up in the Fosterville tower, think that will work?) AND yes I will love my kids no matter what but if they make life time choices they do know they have to face them.

Being a mom and a grandma
Yes, I am old. I found that being 47 it was more fun to grandparent for a few days than to have another baby and yes, as much as I love my kids, I do enjoy them leaving the nest, living their own lives, fulfilling their destiny and having some time alone with those who are left in the house. Perhaps in 6 years when Jess leaves Len and I will get a few years to ourselves. Time where if we want to leave for a weekend, go for a drive and stay away for the night, make love all afternoon (well we probably won't take that long to finish) on a Saturday afternoon instead of late at night when everyone falls asleep.
For now, we shall save our afternoon delight for weekdays,
 before the bus gets home.
Yes, we are old,
 but we are still vibrant and in love!
Me and My Soul Mate