There aren't many songs that you hear that instantly connect with how you feel, who you are and what you dream of. A few years ago I heard a song (on American Idol of all places!) by a young kid in dreadlocks, he was a bit scruffier than the other contestants and wasn't likely to make it through to the end, but I have to thank him for playing this song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" By Israel "Iz" Kamakawiwo'Ole. Take a few minutes to listen, it is riveting, beautiful and magical. I think he actually combined two songs , I loved them! Listened on YouTube for days!
"Well I see skies of blue, and I see clouds of whiteand the brightness of day, I like the darkAnd I think to my selfwhat a wonderful world"
This song just makes me feel good, happy, satisfied and realize that we all have dreams, hopes, wants but at the same time, just looking up to the sky on a beautiful day can be completely satisfying and rewarding. His voice was gentle, smooth, captivating and then you see this big beautiful Hawaiian man who might be someone we didn't think twice about on the street or we might even judge him - negatively, yet he is so amazing! Whether he is belting out "It's a Wonderful World" or "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" he draws me in, completely has my attention and I dream of sitting on a Hawaiian Beach, in a lawn chair under a palm tree, listening to him pluck away on his ukulele. That would be spellbinding!
So what's my point? Nothing much, I am just reflecting on my life, the good, the frustrating, the lonely, the happy, the challenges and reminding myself what is important. Is the conflict surrounding me important? No, I don't think so, not in the scheme of things. Is the lack of "money" worth stressing over? No, I do, but I am getting better! Lonely, missing friends and especially family as my parents age and could use my help. I do have good friends though, people of quality, people who I care about and they do in return and for this I am extremely lucky.
Is watching my family grow older important to me? Absolutely! My husband is working hard and getting discouraged as his body tells him he can't do everything he wants to, and yes, I worry about him and don't want to be left alone. He is my little "maniac" and after 8 years I would miss him desperately. In less than 3 months my baby will move away and live on her own. Have I taught her well? Am I instilling values that matter in the midst of the influences the world puts on her? I think I am. Maybe not to where I am, but I am 46 and she is 18 and I know that although more mature in some ways, I was not as ready to leave home as she is. She will make it. Then one more to go...
So now, I sit, listen to the sounds of my house around me. The washing machine finishing it's final spin; the fish tanks gurgling in the room; the sound of the fire crackling; the water in the tub upstairs as Jess finishes her bath; and Leonard Cohen singing Hallelujah in the background. It was actually this song that I was looking for when I thought about blogging tonight, but then I was sidetracked to Iz and I am glad for that. Cohen is talented and this song grabs me every time, but Iz was so much more uplifting to listen to. He helped me change my brooding thoughts to positive, thank you Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole!
And YES I do feel satisfied! I am also incredibly grateful winter is ending!