Saturday, March 3, 2012

Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe...

My blog title today comes from the song by Anna Nalick, the lyrics are about love and are hauntingly beautiful...
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breahte

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
But you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
I am applying these lyrics to parenting a tormented angry teen... Please tell me this is normal! Please reassure me it will change... ah, on one hand she is defending my honour regarding a cruel comment made by another... the next hand and Whack! she manages to deliver a zinger herself! My head reels with hurt and her head spins like the exorcist! Now that I have wiped the pea soup off the ceiling  I am able to formulate my thoughts once again. 

The days of cradling her head in my hands are through. Now  the most I might get  is a hug every now and then or a heart with an I love you on  my Facebook wall. I do know that she loves me, she needs me and is in conflict with her genetics, hormones and history. My plea to God, her angels and the universe: Let her move forward; Break from the past; Learn to like herself; Learn that there is more to to life than what she sees right now; Leap forward with excitement, enthusiasm and expectation; Know that the world is your oyster, you can slip and slide in the slimy stuff or look for those bits of sand that will create your pearl... You are a pearl and one day you will see that.

In the meantime, I slog through the mire that is adolescence and bask in the moments of light and joy and I breathe, just breathe during the angst and drama. It will end. It will improve, it has to! I have too many friends who have waded through the swamp and emerged through the mist on the other side. 

Fortunately I have a giant Pyr who thinks he is permanently a puppy, a curious cat who is afraid of missing anything and a  bleating goat who enjoys talking to me, they all allow me to sit in the barn while they surround me with sniffs, cuddles and the occasional lick. I also have a ten year old who watches her sister and models behaviour, some positive and some negative, although she still needs to  be tucked in and cuddles me on the couch!

Time to organize some of my chaos and maybe my husband will see this and bring me in a brew, eh? Have a good weekend and remember, breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


.........Sarah Sherman said...

Love your stories and your poems. You are so talented and hopefully the girls will inherit it. Spring is coming thank goodness!!

Thank you Christine! You have been by my side as a cheerleader for 7 years... I am very grateful for your support! YAY SPRING!!!!
Sarah ;)

Anonymous said...

We are missing your exciting adventure's, hope you are well

.........Sarah Sherman said...

Thank you Anonymous! I did write yesterday... I had started several times but did not finish... you inspired me! THANKS!