Life on the Farm

 

We have officially put ourselves out there as the "Golden Unicorn Farm" this week! We   made the leap and now we are on our way! Glenn and Edna - of McLean Farms who helped the Woodstock Farmers Market become what it is today - convinced us to try it out! Len and I had been hesitant since we have no produce or animals yet, however, they suggested we start with a combination table - Len's art and books and my baking breads, goodies.

Earlier in the week, I put out a message to some mom's and neighbours who are ordering from me locally as well and I will supply them with raisin bread, mulitgrain, etc...! My mom was so sweet and I heard the pride in her voice when she realized I am doing it all by hand, from scratch and no machines! Yes mom, thank you, thank you, thank you, for your skills, knowledge and education that you gave me. I am now YOU! Baking, canning and working in the kitchen. Now, back to the Farmer's Market!

This week we took the plunge! The Woodstock Farmer's Market has been around for around 30 years and they eventually acquired ownership of a building in downtown Woodstock, located on the river front, next to the Tourism office. Great location and good parking. This allows the market to remain open for 6 days a week from 10am to 4pm.  Each day the market members take turns running the storefront and conducting sales for the group. On Friday's the market blossoms with excitement as farmers, marketers, vendors and customers all swarm through the doors. Vendors freshen up their tables and lay out farm fresh eggs, New Brunswick potatoes, organic fair trade coffee, organic seeds available for sale, local hot mulled apple cider, responsibly raised farm meats, pickled eggs, seasonal produce, jams, jellies, arts, crafts, jewelery and NOW Golden Unicorn Farm baking!

As you can see from the pictures we had a great time. I baked up a storm on Thursday night so it would be as fresh as possible for Friday morning. Being true to myself and the art of procrastination, I was busy all day Thursday and did not start until 6pm Thursday night. I was however, showered and tucked in bed by midnight!

The kitchen was a flurry of busyness as I started my multigrain bread rising; then put on the sweet dough for sticky buns; the cookies had been made and frozen earlier in the week so I only had to lay them out and ice and decorate them; I was cutting cardboard and lining with tinfoil, writing out labels and monitoring the progress as I baked away. When it was time to punch down my double batch of bread, I was cleared away and released some energy as I punched, pounded and rolled the dough. Time to cut, evenly, form and place in the bread pans for the second rise. Then, sweet dough, stretched and rolled to get it as big as possible. I wanted to make nice big, sweet, sticky cinnamon buns drizzled with cream cheese icing and sell them individually - Huge success by the way! 

As I worked away, the kids enjoyed the smells in the kitchen and anxiously awaited the results that would emerge from the stove. I had to pace myself, carefully progress and not get ahead of what I was doing, not make a mistake or miss an ingredient. I also had to make sure that I left some baking for the girls, since it was their first day on March break and they needed sustenance.

 

Around 10pm Len came in, beaming with a big smile and telling me how proud he was of me, how great it all looked and gave me big hugs and kisses. (You see, I think he still thought I would wimp out, not work and make something awful - I believe he is finally convinced - I do have some baking talent - I just hid it for a LONG time!) Len helped me with labels, packaging and getting ready for morning. He plugged in the truck outside the door so that it would be easy to start and load up at 7:30am.

We live almost an hour to town and the market starts at 8am... We planned to arrive about 8:30 am since it is slower this time of year but in the summer we will have to be there much earlier. I was tired and ready for bed and as I crawled in for the night I thought I might not sleep since I was REALLY quite excited! Happily, I slept deeply and was ready for that 6:30am wake up buzzzzz! 

When we got up, Len made a thermos of tea while I wrapped up the bread and buns that were too warm the night before. We both prepared the baskets and were quite pleased with ourselves. I asked Len to get his camera so we could take a picture of his booth and to start the truck while I quickly put on my "eyes" and finished dressing. About ten minutes later he walked in and guess what? Buddy, my old friend and diesel nightmare, was NOT going to start! I was speechless! I told Len, we ARE going! He suggested I call our amazing neighbours who know when the phone rings and our name appears that we are calling for yet ANOTHER rescue!

Gary came on down and tried to boost our truck while I loaded up assuming it would be successful. It was -28 Celsius with the wind blowing and my toes, fingers and other body parts were quickly becoming numb.After about 20 minutes we realized that starting Buddy was futile and he had no intentions of  going anywhere. I still planned to go and borrowed the good Clark family pickup to get to town and back. I was so happy when we were on the road, heading down the bumpy Highway 122 and turned onto the slightly less destroyed Highway 540 and off we went. I was just so relieved that I turned the truck radio up, as always it was on Classic Country and I wailed away loudly with my morning song "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis. I tried to get Len to sing the part of the black back up singers - but he failed miserably and I had to fire him as I could not let him bring down the quality of my tone.

As we approached Woodstock I just wanted to be at our table and set out my wares - becoming more hesitant as I wondered, what if no one buys anything? What if they don't like what I have? What if they complain about my pricing? What if they think my bread is too small? What if I am stuck with a dozen individually wrapped sticky buns? What if... Stop it! Just get in there, set up and have fun! Put on your town smile and do what you can do Sarah! Pull that charm out of your back pocket and work it girl! (That was my little quiet pep talk to myself!) I had a sample tray ready and was going to break up cookies, cut bread and let people try it out themselves.

I needn't have worried at all. We had the warmest reception from the vendors. The customers were happy to see breads and buns again since no one had been selling them for awhile. The market manager, the lovely Ramona was radiant, welcoming, friendly and our biggest advocate that day. She brought over all of the regular's to meet us, promoted Len's book, pushed my baking and let us feel that we were contributing and they were glad to have us aboard. All the vendors were great and it was like a big family. We had a booth next to Glenn and he helped us out through the day. He gave us the run down, the who's who in the zoo and introduced us to people all day. I do have to say that when the one or two local characters had me cornered and babbled incessantly yet harmlessly, Glenn watched laughing in the background and I struggled to keep a straight face!

We have now met who we need to know to get our bee hives; have received approval that we plan to raise our food organically; great response that we are get dairy goats and will make cheese; general delight, support and acceptance! Amazing day!

The best part was, I sold almost all of my baking, have orders and requests for next week AND I earned enough to cover our day and go buy my laptop cord that I needed desperately so I could get back to what I am supposed to do, which is develop and sell websites! Yes, we still have lots of snow. No, we can't see outside our bedroom window anymore as the snow is too high and YES, I still LOVE New Brunswick and Golden Unicorn Farm - which is NOW open for business! (Website coming soon!)

 

Is being ALONE underrated?

Having never really lived alone I don't feel very qualified to answer this question. I lived at home with my family growing up; then briefly (3 months) had a bachelor suite while going to college; then moved into shared accommodation while working as a chambermaid at a Banff hotel; then went to a live in nanny job; then back to my parents for two months; then into a room mate situation; then had my own place for 9 whole days before I met my first husband and he basically started to stay there semi permanently; then lived with him for the next 18 years; then lived with my kids; then my next husband moved in and here I am today! So not sure that 3 months and 9 days qualifies as ever having lived alone? Actually sounds kind of pathetic when laid out like that!

I, of course now live with my family and shall until either I die, or the kids move out and my husband passes on. Not dwelling on dramatic or anything, just looking at why sometimes I want to scream if I don't get my way! No, really, I just need space sometimes. Now, to me, space does not mean living in the same home as other people when you basically are not speaking to each other, that is just creepy and is always incredibly frustrating. Space does not mean everyone doing their own thing without any interaction. Space does means I do my thing, don't feel like I am letting anyone else down by not doing what they want; not feeling like I am being judged for what I do or don't do; not feeling like I am being selfish; not feeling as though there is some annoying undercurrent of something bothering someone; not being ignored or feeling like I or they are trying to hard to make people happy.

I have recently talked to people who are going through life changes, either separation, a spouse has passed away, they know that something drastic is on the horizon or they are planning to make a midnight move. I just don't think any of those types of knowing you will be alone ever feel good. I suppose if you are alone by choice and you are comfortable with it and not always hoping to just find someone, that it can be pretty cool.

I think that I would enjoy knowing that I can make as much as I want of something, as little, make it decadent, or severely healthy; I can clean OR not; I can go for a walk without feeling like I should but just do it because I want to, OR not; I can go visit someone and stay away all day without worrying about another or when I should get home. I can buy a bottle of wine and watch it age on the shelf and dream about the day I open it or I can drink the whole thing in one night, just because. I can cry and let myself take a depression day for no reason other than, I need to clean out my tear ducts. I can laugh and watch stupid shows on TV all day, not because they make any difference in the world but because it just feels good to belly laugh at stupid antics. I can watch tear jerkers and have an old movie day like Gone with the Wind or download the whole Mad Max series and remember Mel Gibson before we found out he was an alcoholic, cheating, wife beating, anti Semite. I can stay in my jammies for two days without going anywhere (I would still brush my teeth though, because otherwise it is just gross!) and not answer the phone or I can dress up really nice, put make up on and make a trip to town to have a dinner out even if I can't afford it. 

I guess the fun part would be the fact that you don't have to justify anything. This doesn't mean you shouldn't ever justify anything, just a relief to be absolved of that from time to time. Now, this doesn't mean that by being alone you get to whine or cry about it, because in my scenario we are talking a choice. I don't think anyone ever really plans to spend their life alone, but it happens and we can learn to like it. The other great part about being alone is that you can have people over to visit that you like and not have to invite people you don't like because someone else might want them to come over. You can sit up and talk and laugh loudly all night without bothering anyone; or you can go to bed at 8:00pm because you are tired.

I don't know, being alone sounds like it has some definite advantages. I am not planning anything, not making any changes, just thinking that if we have not completely destroyed our planet, not used up all the fossil fuels, my kids eventually move out and should I some day be living alone, I just might do some of those things. (I might have to get a house pet to talk to though, because clearly my voice needs to be heard.) In the meantime, I love my little life! I would like those people who are undergoing change, planned for or not, to think about some of the things they have that we who have people with us all the time don't have. So, maybe for five minutes you won't feel sad or lonely. 

Come on! Now get out some movies that you used to love that are no longer politically correct, make up a big tub of popcorn, stay IN your jammies, NO getting dressed! Grab a half sack of beer or some fizzy pop, kick up your feet, unplug the phone, turn off Facebook and email and remember the good times! 

A Classic Parenting Moment...

I wasn't planning to post anything so soon since y  I wrote a long post.yesterday..  However! The story must be told. It is one of those moments as a parent that you wonder, do you admit that you did something and tried to cover it before your child ever noticed OR go with what they think and cover it that way? Now that I have your attention...

Over the past few months that we have lived here, in our 100+ year old house, both Len and Rachel believe they have either seen or felt the presence of something no longer human. A ghost? A spirit? Something shifting curiously through the room? Keep in mind, neither Jessica nor I have EVER felt anything and we are all comfortable and safe here. (No Amityville Horror!)

Last night, as Jessica was getting ready for bed, I was in the bathroom changing and I heard her SCREAM in terror! My first response, "Jessica! What now???" My child does tend to be over dramatic and cry or wail at the slightest provocation. I opened the bathroom door, just having finished dressing myself in my jammies and when I looked down at her face, I viewed COMPLETE terror!

Jessica is pale but she had NO colour what so ever! Her freckles were even white. She could barely breathe and was trembling! I had no idea what was wrong and I was scared! She looked up at me "MMMMOOOMMMYYY... " Her little chest heaving and shuddering as she could barely make out the words "THiiissss wasss on mmmyyyy pillllowwww!" I looked down to see her white with pink polka dots stuffed elephant staring up at me, it's head almost decapitated and will admit, was briefly stunned. She said... "It was on my pillow! Who did this? WAAHhHHH"""

I picked up the elephant as I sheltered my panic stricken 9 year old that was the colour of white out and pointed to Rachel, "Do YOU know ANYTHING about this????" Thinking she may have placed it on her pillow. Rachel said, "WHAT? No! That is SO OOOOO creepy!" ... Remember, Rachel is the one who "saw" a ghost flutter through the kitchen from time to time. I now had TWO scared children.

I took Jessica to her room, showed her the bed and asked again, "Tell me more, WHAT happened?" All the while getting wetter and wetter as she heaved and cried on my chest. "MMmooommmY! My teddy! Why??"

I told her we can't figure this out if you don't calm down, which she finally did, enough to tell me, "I was getting ready for bed. I put my jammies on and saw my elephant on the dryer. I picked up it, so happy because it wasn't in my bed last night. So I hugged it and put it on my pillow. Then I walked away. When I came BAACckkkkk ... (heave, heave) ... it was THERE! It's scary head off staring at me!"

I instantly felt a complete body wracking guilt ridden moment... How could I tell her that I had ripped off it's head? How could I tell her that I forgot and thought I had hidden it, so I could repair it and then put it back like nothing happened? (You know, just like when the fish or hamster die and you put a new one in before your child discovers it is not sleeping permanently!) I felt like CRAP! (I also tried not to laugh hysterically at the same time, since my children, now in part due to me, figured our house was haunted!) 

Backing up my story a bit.... The night before, I had been speaking to my niece in Australia for well over an hour. During that time, I sat on Jessica's bed, chatted, and fiddled with her stuffies. I noticed the white and pink elephant had a long loose string below it's neck. So, not thinking I pulled and prodded at it, trying to rip it off so it was not hanging there. No, didn't use scissors, just RIPPED away until... you guessed it! Elly the Elephant's head FLIPPED completely backward with a wad of stuffing hanging out of its neck and head. I quickly hid the elephant ON THE DRYER under some laundry and figured, I can stitch it back together before she ever has a clue. Of course later, when I made my bed with fresh sheets for the night, I completely forgot that the stuffie was there and it was exposed. 

So, the next night, when Jess got ready for bed, she picked it up, happily hugged it and placed it on her bed, not noticing ANYTHING! Until of course, she went back to her room and saw it on her pillow! How could I possibly say I did it after that? AAAHHH! Parenting, some moments, you just go with. So, I convinced her that it probably came off when I washed it and I guess I didn't notice and it landed on the dryer because it was ripped and I will sew it up today with no more worries! Yes, I felt like a big piece of poo lying to her! After the terror though, I didn't want her to get mad at me, so I took the easy road! (Dear washing machine, sorry for blaming you, but, you are an inanimate object and I needed to be the hero. Love your owner.)

In the meantime, I had two children who figured something haunted had happened in our house. I do believe I managed to convince Jessica that it was just a matter of coincidences and I was prepared for the potential nightmares - thankfully she did not have any! Rachel however, had told her friend on FaceBook - who already knew about the "ghost" she had seen and she freaked HIM out! I must say I started to laugh hysterically when she told me that and I explained what really happened. She did find it hilarious (good thing) and I said she better tell him, but she has decided it was more fun to watch him be freaked out.

So, to end my little drama, it does not appear our house is haunted, we have asked around and do not believe anyone ever died here, a spirit did not decapitate the stuffie and place it on Jessica's pillow and besides having a REALLY good laugh, we all slept well!

What's Love Got To Do, Got To Do With It?

As you may know, if you have ever read my blog, I am married with children. Sounds typical and idyllic, but is it? Depending on your current age, society may have dictated to you "get married, have children" or "have children maybe get married" or "stay single". No matter what your situation, if you are in, have ever been in or would ever like to be in, a relationship... read on! You are about to receive the age old wisdom of Mama Sarah.

When beginning a relationship we have those feelings that Tina Turner speaks of in "What's Love Got To Do With It?" She says:

You must understand
That the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract

 

Note: Did you know that scientists have tested the endorphins in people who are newly in love and the really passionate endorphins only last physiologically for one year? So, remember that when you think things are starting to get dull and SPICE them up yourself! Nature can't do it all for you!

 

Let's start with some thoughts about "What is a Relationship?" According to the Free Online Dictionary:

Relationship (noun) Definition:

1. the state of being connected or related

2. association by blood or marriage; kinship

3. the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc. a business relationship

4. an emotional or sexual affair or liaison

5. (Mathematics) Logic Maths another name for relation 

 

Well for the purposes of today's blog, lets forget about number 5 - relation in Math. (Yuck! Math is my LEAST favourite subject next to Chemistry!) However, math is important in your finances and chemistry for intimacy so I guess they KIND of are important!

I of course, being a self described expert, shall pass on my knowledge and expertise, to you my fans. (OK yes, I am joking here, no one is an expert, we all learn our life lessons and move on.... I am not kidding about my fans though.)

 

The past year has been a time of great reflection for my husband and I as well as a time to determine how we wish to create our future. I say reflection as we had to decide if we both wanted to move in the same direction, if we had some of the same goals and were willing to work together, no matter how hard, to get there. We both also had to analyze our past relationships and assess when we did the right thing and where we were wrong. No matter how easily the relationship fell apart or how easy it is to blame on one person, it is the actions of both that ultimately  cause the breakdown.

 

I say create our future because, if we don't work together to accomplish our goals and we are not honest with each other about what goes wrong, don't take personal responsibility and don't help ourselves repair it, we will not succeed. In our case it was a huge adjustment to move across the country. For Len, he knew it was possible he may never see his friends or children again. For me, I knew that I was taking my children to a new province, away from all of our family and placing them in situation of great adjustment. We had to play the pros and cons very seriously in this decision and we eventually made the final decision together. (I apologize for the run on sentences, it has been a problem since about grade 2, when my teacher Mrs. Ritchie told me ... Sarah! Those are run on sentences! Oops doing it again! Please let's get back on topic?)

 

It would be easy for Len to say, "I only moved because Sarah gave me an ultimatum." (Yes, I did, guilty!) It would be easy for me to say, "It was your choice, you didn't have to come." However, we did make the choice together and planned the trip, our method of travel, etc. all together. In hindsight, we have no doubt we made lots of mistakes! I could blame some on him, he could blame some on me, we can BOTH blame the trucker who hit us, but we did this together and there really is NO ONE to blame. 

Although I am going to blog this in relation to marriage, please note that it is true for ALL relationships and apply my advice appropriately to your situation or don't. It is your choice! Although you may not agree with all I have to say, I think that you will concur with much of it. When some people get married, in a church, there is a requirement to attend pre-marital counseling first to assess whether this is the right decision for the couple. No, this is not something I had to do and that was ok with me. In retrospect, it might have been a good idea, although I highly doubt many couples go to session 3 and decide, wait a minute, I am NOT marrying you! I do think a lot of us know before we walk down that aisle or go before that justice of the peace, that we are doing the wrong thing, but do it anyway. Why? I am guessing for many people it is embarrassment, feel trapped or think we have to get married because everyone does it, or this is the "American" dream.

I was in the wedding industry for 5 years and watched couples who adored each other get married; couples who put up with each other get married; couples who were simply getting married to satisfy the parents. If you are in a relationship think about why. What do you want to get out of it? What are you willing to put into it? How are you going to deal with the boredom that comes along with it? The kids that get "in the way" and don't allow you time for yourself? What will you do when times get hard? Finances fall apart? How will you deal with those situations where there is "another person" interested in you and quite willing to try to pull you out of your relationship? Are you prepared to deal with those moments when your partner's looks begin to fade? They put on some extra weight? Frustrated because he/she is working too much to support the family? Expect him/her to work then do all the housework too? Maybe their energy is waning? One or both of you are feeling less attracted to each other? One is progressing well in a career or life path and the other feels left behind? Many of these feelings happen in every relationship. A couple has to actively and consciously work through the less than fabulous times.

It always makes me sad to see couples break up, especially when there are children involved. It makes me even sadder though, to watch couples who are unhappy or bad for each other, stay together "because of the children". I just don't think that helps anyone. So, when I see couples that are not working, on their relationship who have children and they breakup the family, sometimes I am relieved even though I feel sad for them all. I hope at those times parents will put the children first, find ways to communicate that are positive, withhold venting and blame in front of the kids and be amicable even when they don't feel like it. 

Stubborn couples can be a challenge! Sometimes they are BOTH doing the wrong thing, not sharing information, not being honest about their feelings, blaming each other for the disharmony. Unless each person in the couple is able to sit down or write out or go to a counselor - something - to let out their feelings, hurt, anger, frustration, lack of motivation, personal and shared goals. I can tell you that Len and I have had to do this many times. We love each other, laugh together, appreciate each other, are attracted to each other and still wonder at times if we are doing the right thing. It never changes for anyone. As soon as things start to get too comfortable, it is easy to take each other for granted. No relationship is simple, without hard times or perfect. 

My thoughts to you all are simply:

1. Love who you are with - and who they are inside and out
2. Laugh with them (not at them - they don't like that too much!)
3. Remain intimate - remember to kiss and say I LOVE YOU and mean it
4. Plan together and PLAY together
5. Encourage each other and show excitement
6. Be open and honest - even when it hurts
7. Communicate regularly
8. Don't get lost in the day to day - it easy to do with kids, jobs, commitments - remember YOU are the commitment for each other and it needs to remain near the top!
9. Remember the things that made you fall in love and revive them
10. Do what is right ... for you and your relationship - sometimes that means counseling, sometimes it means separate, sometimes it means apologizing or admitting you made a mistake and it always means being true to yourself

Well, I suppose I have rattled on sufficiently, having adequately earned my Masters in the School of Hard Knocks and I pass on my knowledge and understanding (or lack thereof). I wish you all light, love, happiness and honesty - to yourself and your mate. No couple is happy all the time, but it is remembering the good, forgiving the bad and moving forward that will allow you to sustain that marriage. (Now I have to go grab Len and throw him on the bed before the kids get home from school!)

Now on a slightly lighter note! Many of you have heard of and read the late Erma Bombeck's advice over the years. No, I do not purport to be her reincarnate, but I would like to post the poem she wrote about her life as she was dying of cancer. I do think that much of it is relative to today's topic.

If I Had My Life To Live Over - By Erma Bombeck

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
 
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. 
 
I would have talked less and listened more. 
 
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. 
 
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace 
 
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
 
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
 
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
 
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains. 

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. 
 
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. 
 
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. 

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.' 

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.look at it and really see it . . live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Say Hello to "Itsy Bitsy Spider Web Design"

Just a quick note to let you all know that my business plan WAS approved! 

I shall tell you much more later, but suffice it to say YAY!

PS to those of you who asked to be deleted from the blog, WILL DO!

Thank you all for your ongoing support!

Sincerely, Sarah Sherman aka ME!