Sunday, October 23, 2011

16 months since I left "home" for the final time

It is hard to believe we left Nanaimo a mere 16 months ago. It feels like a lifetime. We traveled 7 provinces, 21 days and a world away. We said goodbye to parents, children and grandchildren. Goodbye to extended family and dear friends. We now reside at East Grand Lake, in rural New Brunswick on the border of Maine, USA, 68 km to the nearest Canadian town and 20+ miles to the nearest American town.

I have written 89 blog postings (on this site); have had almost 6,000 hits (5,000 in Canada, 1,000 from the rest of the world); I have started to compose poetry; I have shown some improvement with my writing skills; acquired new life skills; changed my focus in life; learned to love the simple things - while knowing that I still need to afford my girls some of the not so simple things in life. I have grown closer to my husband, shared goals, dreams and realities, and I have started to learn to slow down... what an important lesson.

When I first told people I was moving, I met mixed responses. Some people got it right away, others thought I was insane, one asked if I was running away and I hope now, that everyone understands, we love it here. It hasn't been easy, it has been work and for the girls the struggle is always there to fit in. Since we are older and have experienced enough to get past the point in life where we let every word hurt us or every comment strike a nerve, we survive much better. Len and I have adapted well, made good friends and I believe have established a solid life here. As for the girls, I have told them, this is all temporary for them. It will be a home to return to, but their lives are elsewhere. A year ago I heard a lot from them both about returning to Nanaimo or Vancouver to live, now I hear Fredericton or possibly Moncton, that makes me smile. They will do OK - have their own lessons, loves, heart breaks and success - until then, we will laugh and cry together during their journey.

Summer is over, most of the canning done. I do need to get some of the last apples off of the trees to preserve for winter before they get hit by a hard frost. I have started to prepare for winter and plan indoor projects. The sewing machine will finally be pulled out this week. The coffee shop is closed with the potential of a weekend opening sometime before Christmas and the offer to the community of Christmas baking orders; farm market continues and some days are very slow but it is our trip to town and to visit; and so life continues.

When I started this blog in May 2009 it was to document our journey and life and to determine whether I should pursue my dream to write. I have grown to love writing, blogs, some stories and poetry. Of course the print world is dying, less books being published, more "E" readers becoming the norm and although it is easier to get published (self or E) it is harder to promote. I then wonder, should I take the time to try to write something? Is fiction the right route? How do I move forward? Do I have the drive? (I do know that I am a terrible procrastinator and can have difficulty applying myself to finish a project to the end.) I guess I will continue to think about this prospect and if there is a point, other than to say "I did it."

I have discovered how important family and friends are. I am able to touch base with many people via FaceBook but those are generally quick, superficial moments. They do however make me feel connected to my past life, so thank you for that. The people who are closest to me, my nearest and dearest, you know who you are, are NOT FaceBook users or very infrequently and so we connect via email and phone. Those moments touch me deeply since they are few and far between, but mean so much. Without all of you, on email, FaceBook, the blog and the phone, these past 16 months would have been much more difficult. I don't know if I could have done it. I can't imagine what pioneer women went through. They left people behind - generally for the last time, little to no communication ever again, men who were not necessarily focused on their wives emotions, working from dawn to dusk, no women for miles around and little choice on friendships, children who died in their arms, so much different than what I experience today. To them, I say, "How did you do it?" To me, I am sure they would reply, "We had no choice." I am so thankful for the choices I have in my life!

Now, it is 7:20 AM, I have been awake for a couple of hours, the house is cold, fire is out, do I go back to bed for a half hour? Or poor another cup of ginger tea? That is my dilemma! Happy Sunday!
Next week a Halloween update!
Yes kids still DO trick or treat out here!
(I plan to give out real spiders and webs, need to clean the house anyway!)


.........Sarah Sherman said...

From John A:
Hi Sarah,

I am not a "blog reader," but did read your latest with great interest. Among other things, I like that you include the whole family's feelings and struggles, without losing sight of yourself as narrator; and that you write your uncertainties as well as your successes. Without having read the earlier "chapters," I felt well-informed and involved in the story right away.
I don't know where you came from in your writing ability; but I'd say you do it very well now!

Best wishes in your journey,

.........Sarah Sherman said...

Well, thank you John! Your words were very appreciated and enjoyed. It helps me during my learning process to get such feedback. Keep reading! Have a great day!